This is stay-home-and-tune-out-the-world wine, at once indulgent and familiar. Here, dark, purple fruits and classically earthy, rustic tannins meet acid that keeps it all so good, sip after sip. Grab a blanket, turn on whichever Criterion Classic (Real Housewives) you're onto, and pour yourself a generous glass. To class-up self-date night, I would recommend one of those ridiculously bulbous wine glasses, à la Scandal's Olivia Pope. We all deserve a break. —Billy Smith